Third Wedding Anniversary. Two without you - September 2020.

Sure wish we would have gotten a lifetime together, I cry for that missed shared life every day. But, I’d bare any weight, let myself burn, to get to love you for a day. To be loved by you. What a gift. This sounds valiant + romantic. It is brutal, often lonely, and constantly finds new ways to break me. 
But, what a day it was, what a lifetime held in those 10 years. 
Thank you. 
I know this is my responsibility to hold for us. You did so much for us here. 
You gave it all. 
I hold it all. 
Most everything has changed, I’m sure you know, but this heart is still strong + true. It’s how we found one another. Lettin the hearts speak their shared language. 
They’re still talkin. 
Thank you for being exactly who you are. If it always turns out this way, I’d still do it forever, (not a lot o folks can know what those words really mean, how much they weigh and what they burn) but I could do anything to get to run and wrestle and love with you. What I’d give to watch you, always my muse, my curiosity, my excitement, my heart. I see you without my eyes now. I know you See me too. I hear you without words now. Do you hear me? You always wanted me to find my voice. Thank you for all you have given me, all you still give, and everything you keep bringing into my life. I owe it all to you - you’d want me to say ‘to us.’ But, I am what I am because I got to love and be loved by you and then had to lose you. I hold you within me, I hold me too. 
I hold it all. 
I miss every moment with you. 
Every moment misses you. 
Light + Dark. Gold + Rage. Love + Loss. 
I have always loved you. 
And, I always will.